Tuesday, August 28, 2007

The Beautiful, the Bad, and the Ugly

Tucson, Arizona. The University of Arizona campus is killing me. Oh, Lolita! Perhaps Lolita is struggling with her algebra and needs some help from a kind, caring math tutor. Perhaps Lolita doesn’t have enough money to pay the tutor who so much wants to help.

I’m bad.

Just kidding. If the reader has seen American Beauty, the scene near the end captures it perfectly. After months of fantasy, the reality is completely different. He can’t do it. Neither could I.

Moving to the opposite end of the spectrum, and not meaning to be cruel or insensitive to decent human beings or judgmental, but I am sorry, a couple days ago I saw what has to be the butt ugliest human being in 18 states, an ugly that defies distinction of ethnicity or gender. If this ugly enters a restaurant, the patrons take off their glasses.

Forget the fact that the body had swelled to a size that prevented walking.

The face could scare the fleas off of a dog.


Blogger Liza said...

So, x4mr, you saw the ugliest human being in 18 states? The only thing even slightly interesting about this is that you think it is worth posting about on your blog, apparently thinking that your readers will find it interesting that you saw a really ugly person.

Not everything that happens to a person makes a good anecdote, x4mr.

8/29/2007 7:58 AM  
Blogger x4mr said...

I had a feeling this might offend.

Relax. It's a short, light post that I hoped would be amusing. Obviously not to at least one.

Trust me, Liza, that I don't share everything, and I was contrasting with the campus situation.

The fleas off the dog notion had me in stitches, and that's original.

8/29/2007 9:30 AM  
Anonymous the doctor said...

I must defend x4mr, here.

I enjoy the "Lolita motif" of a middle aged father going back to school at the same time his daughter goes to school. He sees all these beautiful girls his daughter's age and longs to be young again.

The ugly part was hilarious. Like x4mr, I thought the fleas off the dog bit was great.

That he does not stick to solid politics 100% makes the place more interesting.

I will say, Liza, that you have a point about bloggers going on and on with personal crap no one cares about is annoying. I just don't think x4mr is guilty of that.

8/29/2007 11:02 AM  
Blogger x4mr said...


Appreciate the support, but I have to actually defend Liza.

As someone who is not afraid to let me have it when I go astray, she is one of my most valuable readers.

Constructive criticism is hard to find. I can handle it.

You go, Liza. Don't hesitate to let me have it if I post nonsense.

8/29/2007 12:26 PM  
Blogger Liza said...

Well, perhaps I am devoid of humor. That must be it.

I'll leave you with this thought. Most caucasian men over the age of 30 are ugly, to one degree or another. This is my opinion, of course. I seldom state it, but we are talking about who is ugly and who isn't, so I may as well get it out there.

Not funny, huh?

8/29/2007 12:40 PM  
Anonymous the doctor said...

You don't think Mitt Romney or John Edwards look good?

George Clooney?

8/29/2007 12:49 PM  
Blogger Liza said...

I didn't see your 12:26 PM post because I was eating lunch while writing.

Yes, I know that you are able to accept the consequences for what you say here. Anyhow, are we supposed to agree all the time?

And, yes, I do find it offensive to make light of another's suffering. People who are overweight and unattractive suffer pretty horribly.

My brother, who was eight years older than me, was obese and not very attractive. I remember one day he was telling my mother that he wanted to ask out this cute little checker at the Winn-Dixie. My mother laughed and said, "That girl wouldn't spit on you if you were on fire." I think I was about ten when this happened. It still upsets me. I don't know why. My mother said a lot of cruel things.

8/29/2007 12:53 PM  
Blogger Liza said...

Mitt Romney, John Edwards, and George Clooney are all reasonably attractive men. And, of course, I said "most." The point is, if I were to leave my house right now and go to Wal-Mart, for example, I can almost guarantee that every single white man over 30 that I would see would be ugly to some degree. Try it.

8/29/2007 12:58 PM  
Blogger x4mr said...


I would be mortified if everyone agreed all of the time. Disagreement is expected and welcome.

I think by going to Walmart, you may be biasing the sample.

Wild Oats may offer more appealing clientele.

It sounds like you had a parent that could be mean. Ouch. I won't pry.

8/29/2007 1:48 PM  
Anonymous The Navigator said...

x4mr can speak for himself, but I strongly suspect he considers the blog part entertainment as much as a source of information. Also, he takes his images very seriously.

The ugly serves as a contrast to the campus, and while you were not amused, some of us were. I am still chuckling about the fleas off of the dog.

Whoever x4mr saw, the person was not injured by this story. I would guess that in "reality" x4mr does not behave in a way that injures the less attractive, since (sorry, but you posted your photo) he is likely considered one of them.

8/29/2007 3:02 PM  
Anonymous dustin said...

I don't know about whoever it was that you saw, but I know one thing, that has to be the ugliest dog I have ever seen. I thought it was one of those R.O.U.S's from "the princess bride." I'm not easy to offend, and I wasn't by this post. I wasn't especially amused either, with the exception of that photo. I think the only time I've ever been truly offended was when a buddy of mine showed me "bum fights." I don't know if any of you have seen that, but it makes me ashamed to be human. It's hands down the worst thing I have ever seen. If x4mr were laughing about that, well, then I would have some words.

8/29/2007 3:38 PM  
Blogger Liza said...

Yes, I deliberately chose Walmart as it does seem to be a magnet for unattractive, older caucasian men. But, I must say, things don't improve much at Trader Joe's, Macy's, or Dillards.

Dustin, the little dog is "Sam" who apparently won some kind of national ugly dog contest for three years, then died in 2005 at the age of 14. He was probably a sweet little dog who, much like older caucasian men, was blissfully unaware of how he looked to people. I'm sure he enjoyed all the attention that was lavished upon him.

8/29/2007 4:47 PM  

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