Tuesday, August 21, 2007

My Lovely Lolita

Tucson, Arizona. I read Nabokov as as undergrad. The University of Arizona started classes yesterday. Your humble blogger is overwhelmed by the grace of thousands and thousands of gorgeous young women aged 18 to 22 wearing shorts, strapless revealing dresses, mini-skirts, and flip flops. They are everywhere except my office.

Today, a particularly stunning beauty sees me and smiles. She approaches me, and I get all excited. She says, "Dr. Professor, sir, can you point me to the Psychology building?"

Oh, my lovely Lolita, let's forget about the Psychology building and go see the nice professor's house.

Well, not too discouraged, I happily hoofed over to my only course, Econometrics 518, eager to meet some co-eds a little closer to my age, and, well, the class was not a representative sample of the university's student body. India and China provided eleven of the fifteen in the class. The two women were Chinese. The professor, serious economist/statistician, starts writing all of these equations on the board.

I smiled and got all enthusiastic. When he started writing Greek letters (epsilon, delta, beta, theta) I almost made an audible sound. When I realized that my reaction to Greek letters on a school board was that of excitement, the daughter's remarks truly hit home, "You're such a geek, daddy."


Anonymous the doctor said...


I hate to break it to you, but everyone that reads this blog knows you're a geek and has for some time.

8/21/2007 4:58 PM  
Blogger Sirocco said...

That's cause most everyone who reads this blog is a geek themselves.

I'm talking about all the rest of you, of course. :P

8/21/2007 6:40 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

when I clicked on the link to this from LeftyBlogs, I thought this was posted on Daniel Patterson's blog.

Needless to say I was really creeped out until I realized my mistake.

8/21/2007 6:46 PM  
Blogger x4mr said...


The thought of your reading that post thinking it was Daniel Patterson has made my evening.

8/21/2007 8:31 PM  
Blogger roger said...

hahahahahahahaha...Oh and Matt...stop by when you are in the building.

And...good lord...Econometrics!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Did I say, "!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

8/21/2007 9:15 PM  
Blogger AZW88 said...

Watch out for them coeds!!

8/21/2007 9:23 PM  
Anonymous Cindy said...

Lolita is a disgusting book about a pedophile who seduces a 13 year old. I don't think your post is humorous at all, and pedophilia is disgusting.

That they made that terrible book into a movie t w i c e shows the depravity of this country and the decline of any sense of decency. It is only a matter of time before homosexuals exploit anti Republican sentiments to ruin marriage and allow gay teachers to confuse for our children.

Shame on you for lusting after a college girl. The Lord Jesus Christ said in the book bearing your name: "And if your eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to enter life with one eye than to have two eyes and be thrown into the fire of hell."
Matthew 18:9

You seem to think you are smart. Well, it is possible to be smart in the head and stupid in the soul. That you brag about looking at those girls with evil in your heart is proof of your depravity.

8/21/2007 10:07 PM  
Blogger x4mr said...

Using the email at my profile send me your building and office, and I'll stop by.

Are you serious, or am I watching the blog comment version of Attack of the Killer Tomatoes?

I don't know how to read your post, which provides new territory for your humble blogger. I have received stupid comments, but your comment perfectly creates a balance where I cannot tell what you are doing.

Your comment is so exquisitely TERRIBLE it's really good!

If you actually think what you wrote, you're an idiot who has ventured into wrong neighborhood.

If you comment from the "Killer Tomato" perspective, I am impressed and would like to meet you.

8/21/2007 10:27 PM  
Blogger x4mr said...

Whoops, when I blog, Stacy seems to come to mind. Obviously I meant Cindy. It's getting late.

8/21/2007 10:30 PM  
Anonymous dustin said...

talk about missing the point. some folks are too easily offended. I think the point being made is that he is surprised to be an old guy
;-). I remember being called mister, and sir the first time, and was completely taken aback. I prefer dude myself, but what can you do?

Yes, I am a big nerd. I'm just not a math nerd.

8/22/2007 8:26 AM  
Blogger Liza said...

I have a feeling that "Cindy" is very serious and that her comment has absolutely nothing to do with "The Attack of the Killer Tomatoes."

Lusting for people in their early 20's who are some 25 years younger than you is not pedophilia. However, it is not something that MOST women can relate to, and there are reasons for that which I will not go into.

8/22/2007 9:00 AM  
Anonymous dustin said...

I'm sure x4mr can defend himself, but I wanted to add to my above comment some. This post is an obvious self parody. After reading this blog for a good long time, I get the impression that 18-20 year olds probably aren't his cup of tea anyway. Some guys love it, others not so much. I think the bigger question here is how we sort out the juxtaposition of being middle-aged in an institution dominated by the young. I remember thinking of anyone over 30 as old when I was 18, the notion now is silly. Do we get sucked into acting like we are 20 again? or do we try to set an example?

8/22/2007 9:38 AM  
Blogger x4mr said...

Of course I'm just having fun. Dustin is correct. Have you interacted with a 20 year old?

Certainly people can produce all sorts of arrangements for mutual gain. A real relationship with mind and heart at risk is a completely different conversation.

I concur with Liza that Cindy is probably a kook.

Oh, and Nabokov is brilliant. I think the first film with James Mason was better. Remember when the woman finds the journal and reads his references to her as a "cow" and then being hit by a car?

Oh, and when he shoots Peter Sellers, and instead of dying, Sellers says, "Ouch, You shot me!! It really hurts!" Mason keeps shooting, and Sellers keeps screaming about how painful it is and keeps asking him to stop.

8/22/2007 11:35 AM  

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