Stratifying Stupidity—A Proposed Taxonomy

Well, watched 60 Minutes tonight, and the Tenet piece really didn’t have anything that surprised me. I might have to read his book this summer. What came next did provoke a reaction when Larry Pratt, executive director of Gun Owners of America spoke up that he saw nothing wrong with the mentally ill buying guns.

I kid you not. Directly from the show,

"We think this is simply another way of eliminating another large group of people from gun ownership in this country," Pratt argues.

"That large group, two million-plus...are people who have been involuntarily committed," Kroft remarks.

"We think those are two million people who you can't say that, you know anything about what their future behavior is going to be," Pratt says.

Uh, yes. I believe that is the point.

This led to reflection on human stupidity, and I cannot avoid the conclusion that stupidity is indeed stratified from basic stupidity which can afflict almost all of us from time to time, your humble blogger included, to more significant and extensive functionality of the concept, to incredibly profound immersion into a place of distilled, concentrated stupid on levels difficult for a normal person to comprehend.

I propose the following classifications:

Stupid. This refers to what can inflict any of us at a particular time, and we use the term to refer to someone who predictably behaves this way.

Certified Stupid. This requires enhanced cluelessness and a degree of oblivion. This is a prerequisite for thinking the earth was created a few thousand years ago and that God created the light traveling from stars in transit so it would reach us in time to see them.

Secret Certified Stupid. Now we are talking about a true idiot. This is the kind of person that reads the crazy magazines at the grocery store checkout line and believes the headlines. He is also the kind of person that tries to fire a CEO without the approval of the Chair of the Board.

Double Secret Certified Stupid. This is the guy that purchases said magazines and discusses the stories with like minded individuals. He is also the kind of moron that does not resign after his attempt to fire said CEO fails miserably in front of God and everybody.

Double Secret Probation Certified Stupid. We are now past all concepts of normal human behavior into a psychological spectrum that adheres to the conviction that using discarded tissue about to be destroyed before it is destroyed is destroying it. If we use it before we destroy it, we are destroying life. If we destroy it without using it, we are not destroying life. Yes, embryonic stem cells. We are also talking about board members who state they have no conflict of interest when in fact they clearly do in front of God and everybody.

Mondo Double Secret Probation Certified Stupid. Larry Pratt, who regards those professionally diagnosed with mental illness as a population that should be permitted to purchase handguns, assault rifles, and semi-automatic shotguns. We are also talking about people who lie to elected officials in writing over their signatures and invade nations without having the slightest idea what they are doing.