Sunday, April 29, 2007

Stratifying Stupidity—A Proposed Taxonomy

Well, watched 60 Minutes tonight, and the Tenet piece really didn’t have anything that surprised me. I might have to read his book this summer. What came next did provoke a reaction when Larry Pratt, executive director of Gun Owners of America spoke up that he saw nothing wrong with the mentally ill buying guns.

I kid you not. Directly from the show,

"We think this is simply another way of eliminating another large group of people from gun ownership in this country," Pratt argues.

"That large group, two million-plus...are people who have been involuntarily committed," Kroft remarks.

"We think those are two million people who you can't say that, you know anything about what their future behavior is going to be," Pratt says.

Uh, yes. I believe that is the point.

This led to reflection on human stupidity, and I cannot avoid the conclusion that stupidity is indeed stratified from basic stupidity which can afflict almost all of us from time to time, your humble blogger included, to more significant and extensive functionality of the concept, to incredibly profound immersion into a place of distilled, concentrated stupid on levels difficult for a normal person to comprehend.

I propose the following classifications:

Stupid. This refers to what can inflict any of us at a particular time, and we use the term to refer to someone who predictably behaves this way.

Certified Stupid. This requires enhanced cluelessness and a degree of oblivion. This is a prerequisite for thinking the earth was created a few thousand years ago and that God created the light traveling from stars in transit so it would reach us in time to see them.

Secret Certified Stupid. Now we are talking about a true idiot. This is the kind of person that reads the crazy magazines at the grocery store checkout line and believes the headlines. He is also the kind of person that tries to fire a CEO without the approval of the Chair of the Board.

Double Secret Certified Stupid. This is the guy that purchases said magazines and discusses the stories with like minded individuals. He is also the kind of moron that does not resign after his attempt to fire said CEO fails miserably in front of God and everybody.

Double Secret Probation Certified Stupid. We are now past all concepts of normal human behavior into a psychological spectrum that adheres to the conviction that using discarded tissue about to be destroyed before it is destroyed is destroying it. If we use it before we destroy it, we are destroying life. If we destroy it without using it, we are not destroying life. Yes, embryonic stem cells. We are also talking about board members who state they have no conflict of interest when in fact they clearly do in front of God and everybody.

Mondo Double Secret Probation Certified Stupid. Larry Pratt, who regards those professionally diagnosed with mental illness as a population that should be permitted to purchase handguns, assault rifles, and semi-automatic shotguns. We are also talking about people who lie to elected officials in writing over their signatures and invade nations without having the slightest idea what they are doing.


Blogger Sirocco said...

I would like to apply for a Double Secret Certified Stupid clearance. Where do I get the paperwork?

Pratt's comment is idiocy of course. I wonder if he truly believes that, or if he feels he must stake out as extreme a position as possible to help protect a "fallback" line which is what he really believes in.

If he actually, really, truly believes what he sais he might be a leading candidate for involuntary commitment himself, which would entail having his gun ownership rights revoked. Hmmm ... maybe that's it, maybe he's just trying to protect himself on that front.

4/30/2007 9:59 AM  
Anonymous joseph said...


I think Sirocco is right. He is so bent on the issue that he will take an extreme position on philosophical grounds, not common sense. It is pure agenda talking, not actual beliefs.

The CEO and Board talk. Speaking from experience?

4/30/2007 8:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


I'm surprised no one else has commented on how funny this is.

I was cracking up.

Double Secret Probation Certified Stupid!!! HA HA HA!!!

Oh, god. That is really funny!!

5/01/2007 12:18 PM  
Anonymous Johnny said...

These damn Republicans!!! Think they are so funny!!! I FUCKING HATE THEM!

5/02/2007 3:39 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

For what it's worth, I think the johnny guy above is either the author of watchtower or one of its fans, but that is not what I am writing about.

I am writing about what you did today, and to tell you I noticed. It must be getting ultra close.

I think I am the only one that sees what you are doing. I won't say anything. You keep shaving the ice thinner and thinner.

I could NEVER do what you are doing. You are going to post documents. We must be talking days now.

5/02/2007 9:27 PM  
Blogger x4mr said...


You must be paying pretty close attention. I didn't think anyone would notice. Yes, please refrain. Let's watch the ice crack on its own, ok?

By the way, this is how you showed up. (

which is exactly how you thought you would.

Days? Maybe. I am thinking end of month, but by design, my control is about to rapidly slip into the hands of others.

5/02/2007 10:25 PM  
Blogger Sirocco said...

I am sooooo looking forward to teend of the month.

I suspect, between the two of you, there have been enough hints I could do a bit of research and get at least a general handle on events ... but I prefer to wait for the surprise.

5/03/2007 8:41 AM  
Blogger x4mr said...


You are taking the smart approach. It really isn't worth snooping around, and I PROMISE all will be delivered in time, but remember the big day is 07/07/07, although there is no way anonymity will last that long.

Anon is right that anonymity could end any day, but I speculate the people making that decision will choose end of month. Don't build your expectations too high. I really am nobody.

Anon, I am most impressed by your last comment. For those with the right distinctions, you embedded a lot of information about what happened yesterday.

Note that I did the same in my previous response;-)

5/03/2007 9:03 AM  

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