Saturday, August 20, 2011

Bachmann Wants $2 gas / Warns of Soviet Union

Supporting limited government and lower taxes, GOP Presidential candidate Michele Bachmann has called for government price controls to insure that gasoline stays at $2 / gallon, “If we get government out of the way and support the free market, supply and demand will reduce costs for everything.”

Bachmann also asserted that the most serious concern on the minds of Americans today is the resurgence of the former Soviet Union and its quest for world domination. Leaders in the various 15 individual sovereign nations that used to comprise the former USSR voiced confusion at Bachmann's assertion, “We remain very unclear as to how such a unification could proceed if in fact we could find anyone that wants to do it.”

In a Kazakhstan restaurant, former soldier Aleksei Stronokov choked on his vodka when asked about Bachmann's statement, “What a fu**ing idiot!”

Princeton Identifies Most/Least Religious Universities

Princeton University has conducted research to produce a ranking of the nation's universities by the prevalance and significance of religion in the students' lives. Not surprisingly, Brigham Young University topped the list of most religious, followed by Hillsdale College, Thomas Aquinas College (Catholic), Wheaton (evangelical) and Grove City (evangelical).

The least religious universities? Bennington College, Reed College, Bard College, Vassar College and Sarah Lawrence College. Three of the top five for least religious are in New York.

Some noted that the students at Oral Roberts evangelical university failed to make the top ten, but a recent ORU graduate clarified, “We're not really religious. At ORU we learn how to form a church and fleece the gullible."

Tuesday, August 02, 2011

Giffords Returns for Debt Vote

Everyone knows that Congresswoman Giffords returned to the House yesterday in what became a poignant display of genuine interest in serving her country against the backdrop of the self-righteous rancor the Tea Party has unleashed against the nation.

This Huffington Post piece and Peter Poyer's article discuss it better than any remarks I could have.

I've said little about the debt debacle because my spiritual fuse flames out every time I consider a remark. Let's hope this circus marks the beginning of the exposure of the truth regarding the lunatic fringe that has all but usurped the Republican Party.

Great job, Gabby. Way to go.