Friday, January 07, 2011

GOP Congress Lists Goals/Objectives

Now that the Tea Party and the GOP are running the House, it's time to get the country back to its glory days when the right men were men and the rest did what they were told. Here are components of their 38 Point "Blueprint for a Better America." The first item occurred today.

1. Read the US Constitution on the House Floor.
2. Investigate Obama’s mama.

3. Eliminate health care for those making under $250,000 per year.
4. Re-read the Constitution on the House Floor.
5. Eliminate the Environmental Protection Agency.
6. Investigate Obama’s papa.
7. Ban Huckleberry Finn, The Catcher in the Rye, Mother Jones, Wikipedia, and Oprah.
8. Require all legislation to cite the Constitution.
9. Ban the monitoring of global temperatures.

10. Eliminate the Department of Education and outsource education to the Sarah Palin Channel.
11. Implement daily reading of the Constitution on the Sarah Palin channel.
12. Investigate Obama’s eighth grade social studies teacher.
13. Invade North Korea.
14. Paste copies of the Constitution in all Capital hallways and restroom stalls.
15. Outlaw yoga, meditation, tofu, birth control, flip flops, thong underwear, and the Oxygen channel.
16. Invade South Africa.
17. Outlaw ethnic studies and ban, confiscate, and destroy all copies of films produced outside the United States.

18. Ban all languages but English. Implement mandatory 5 year federal prison terms for persons caught writing or speaking a "foreign" language.
19. Outsource the federal prison system to Liz Cheney owned and operated CLC ("Confined Labor Center") Enterprises. While taxpayers fund inmate incarceration, CLC keeps the proceeds from the sales of inmate produced goods.
20. Make homosexuality a crime subject to a life sentence at a CLC prison.

21. Raze all mosques and synagogues and replace them with good Christian churches.
22. Invade East Libya.
23. Erect a "Constitution Altar" next to the Lincoln Memorial. Place golden tablets featuring the Constitution in platinum letters at the center of the altar.
24. Invade West El Salvador.
25. Eliminate the federal income tax and enact a national sales tax of 25%. Provide sales tax waivers for homes over $5M, room and restaurant charges at resorts, SUV’s, yachts, aircraft, firearms and ammo, Bibles, and copies of the US Constitution. Tax food at 35% and medicine at 50%.
26. Conduct swearing in ceremonies for federal office at the Constitution Altar.
27. Rewrite history books to exclude 1) the presence of Native Americans in North America, and 2) slavery. The books are to teach that North America was uninhabited prior to its discovery by Columbus and that the Civil War was about state’s rights. The wrong side won.

28. Implement worship services at the Constitution Altar every Sunday at 11 AM EST. Require all television programming to cover said service every week.
29. Repeal Amendments 11–27 of the Constitution. Have the Supreme Court declare that the First Amendment does not apply to the desecration of the US Flag, the US Constitution, or any copy of the Bible written in English.
30. Re-establish the gold standard for US currency and eliminate the Federal Reserve. Change US currency to read, "In our sacred Constitution we trust."
31. Repeal child labor laws and the minimum wage.
32. Establish September 17 as a national holy day honoring the Constitutional Convention. All businesses and government are to be closed. All members of Congress and their families are to attend a Noon-7PM worship service at the Constitution Altar.
33. Implement the "Guaranteed Employment Program" which orders all individuals aged 18–65 who draw unemployment for six months to report for mandatory duty in full time positions. For modest wages, they must work for designated contractors supporting the US military, law enforcement, corrections, CLC camps, or public works such as sanitation, sewage treatment plants, the postal service, and others.
34. Dismantle the Food and Drug Administration and allow corporations to manage the safety of their products.
35. Privatize the National Parks and sell off the national forests to the highest bidders in 600 acre parcels.

36. Implement the "Help for Hardship" Medical exchange program which authorizes cash payments for organ donations. Living individuals who fall on hard times can donate a kidney, an eye, a single lung, and other body parts in exchange for cash. Families can choose to donate any and all useful organs of a dying family member for cash settlements. The program also allows the use of a promised organ donation to serve as collateral for loans.
37. Pass the "Caveat Emptor Act" making it impossible to sue manufacturers or producers for damages caused by issues with the products purchased.
38. Eliminate all campaign finance regulation and allow individuals seeking public office unlimited financing of their campaigns with freedom and privacy.


Blogger The Navigator said...

I know x4mr has put this into a somewhat humorous tone, but it is actually a pretty frightening post.

Many of the items are either completely true or very close to true. They have talked about the gold standard, ending the Department of Education, the income tax, the EPA, etc..

The organ thing is horrific, but I suppose what is most terrifying about this post is that the truly absurd and ridiculous, indeed the insane, have some sentiment in these nut jobs.

1/07/2011 9:29 AM  
Anonymous Observer said...

There's a LOT of truth is this.

What is most terrifying is the cult like hysteria being ginned up about the Constitution.

And the hypocrisy is mind boggling. They foam and froth about the deficit and howl that every bill must cut spending to match every thin red cent it adds.

EXCEPT of course, the repeal of health care, which adds $230B and doesn't cut a thing.

They wail that every bill must cite the Constitution directly.

EXCEPT of course, the first three bills they've introduced so far (none cite the Constitution).

They howl about open meetings and transparency.

EXCEPT of course, none of their current bills will be introduced in open meetings.

Two of the lunk heads skipped the swearing in ceremony to attend a party about being sworn in. I'd say that captures it rather succinctly.

1/07/2011 9:47 AM  
Anonymous Another Anon said...

But "they" seem to have left out parts of the Constitution in the reading, parts that made them squirm.

Kinda like omitting parts of the bible you don't agree with.

1/07/2011 10:44 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You forgot about abolishing the Endangered Species Act and demolishing the north rim of the Grand Canyon for a uranium mine.

The Sarah Palin channel will soon announce that the teaching of math and science is a waste of time.

The bit about the pages sticking together is a crock.

The United States is the 21st century Rome. The entire country will make $8/hour at a huge Walmart where the Chinese go shopping.

1/07/2011 11:21 AM  
Anonymous A said...

This blog is intense and cuts pretty deep. Wow, the "caveat emptor" act and the "help for hardship" organ donation program, and taxing medicine. God, have we really come to that?

It is a scary article. The earlier comment is sadly true. The ultra rich are bleeding the US dry and leaving it for dead, probably in cahoots with the Chinese about how the takeover will take place.

Our children will go to Jesus camp to prepare for minimum wage jobs at Buy N Large.

1/08/2011 12:09 AM  

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