Saturday, September 27, 2008

Palin Cigar Shop Bifurcation

Tucson, Arizona. The underdogs dealt some entertaining whoop ass on some highly ranked college football teams recently. Oregon State served the appetizer Thursday against USC, and now my alma mater is 5-0 for the first time since 1962. While I was a student at Northwestern, they had the college football record for longest losing streak.

When watching said games this afternoon at the cigar shop while multi-tasking talk of politics and other items, the discussion grew quite heated over McCain's selection of Twiddledwat as his running mate and what this foretells for the nation. As noted, Sarah Palin is possibly showing signs of a mental event of an undistinguished nature. One smoker at the shop today voiced the conclusion that under no circumstances can the McCain campaign allow Palin to participate in the debate scheduled to occur this coming Thursday.

According to this intelligent and well informed cigar aficionado, having the Palinesque gibberish proceed in front of a large audience and countless cameras for an extended period would invoke outrage, disgust, and terror that would obliterate the McCain campaign. Accordingly, as soon as Sunday and certainly prior to the debate, the twiddle will issue a statement noting the needs of her family and in particular her special needs child, whose situation has recently taken an unforeseen turn for the worse, requiring her immediate attention. He assured everyone in the room that within the next few days, exit dwat. I would describe his position as adamant and inflexible.

The assertion provoked an equally forceful and adamant response, one firmly rooted in the view that hell would freeze over and Eggplant himself would grow a brain before said VP nominee would withdraw from the election. No way, no how, no withdrawal, and no "will she or won't she?" hanky panky regarding participation on Thursday. Summarizing, several in the room (including two gentlemen well past halfway into a bottle of 18-year Talisker) told our smoking friend that he was out of his mind.

A mixture of fine tobacco, excellent scotch, and political bravado combined to form quite the debate concerning the debate, McCain, and the dwat. The anti-Eggplant regime so aligned on W inanity and the so yesterday mind set of a should be retired candidate, and so aligned on the frightening and embarrassing nature of the (courtesy of Katie) posted footage of a mind on a drug concocted in a Rovian laboratory, had a spicy split on the VP debate. The rapidly escalating temperature sanitized the shop of Republican sentiments, the right wingers fleeing as shouts ensued regarding which of two outcomes would occur:

1. The campaign will let her debate and sustain the humiliation and other consequences of what might become a freak show.
2. The campaign will not let her debate, crafting the best possible spin for her exit.

No physical blows ensued, but we got as serious as it gets aside from the screaming, and the talk turned to the real thing as wagers burst into the space, "I'll put a VSG against your Padron 26 that she not only shows, but manages to put nouns and verbs together well enough for Rush and O'Reilly to spin for the morons."

"Make it a Spellbound! She has shown she cannot combine nouns and verbs into an actual sentence."

Well, your humble blogger got into the fray. I took the bet. I say Palin shows and participates. If so, I get a cigar. If not, I'm buying one for the smoker certain that as great as the debacle involved with her withdrawal, the debacle of her appearance Thursday is worse. If for ANY reason and ANY explanation she bolts or delays, I owe him a smoke.

Care to talk serious money? Imagine the odds and the fortune to be made if one had known McCain's VP choice two weeks in advance. Take yourself back to early August and bet on Sarah Palin as his choice. Those eager to take your folly for all it is worth would be lining up and willing to give odds. You would have raked it in. MILLIONS. Then you could have taken those millions and invested them in our solid financial institutions.


Blogger Liza said...

On her own, Palin will never conclude that she is underqualified and she will not withdraw. Part of her not-so-charming mental deficit is that she doesn't know she has a deficit. She thinks she's a heavyweight on a mission from God Himself. Her withdrawal, if any, would be something forced upon her by the GOP ruling elite.

So, will the GOP force her out? Good question. She bought them three weeks of distraction from the core issues that Democrats need to be front and center on election day. After all, what has McCain's campaign been about other attacking Obama and running down the clock? The Wall Street meltdown was most untimely and unfortunate for McCain as people are now thinking that maybe "lipstick on a pig" is kind of a stupid thing to be talking about when the global financial markets are in peril.

Nonetheless, Palin bought them some time and she generated crowds and interest in the McCain candidacy that he could not generate on his own. She is also the GOP gift to the religious right. Despite her incompetence, there is more to suggest that she helps McCain in November than not.

If you forced me to guess, I would lean toward Palin showing up at the debate. The Palin handlers are going to be on it all week, trying to get their mean little pit bull to eject the GOP talking points out of her jaw as complete sentences and at the proper time. Look at it this way, she certainly can't get worse.

If she manages to make complete sentences, the GOP will spin it as a major success. Then they will put her back on the stump and parade her around like the star of a circus act to recite the GOP scripted lies about Obama in her folksy manner. They will keep her away from unscripted events and people like Katie Couric who was actually pretty nice to her. It's all about running down the clock.

I haven't got a clue how you can sit and talk to Republicans, X4mr.

9/28/2008 8:53 AM  
Anonymous Mariana said...

My bet is on the terrorist attack, nuclear or not. I don't smoke cigars but I'll take a good scotch.
"Drinking Liberally" will watch the circus at Rusty's. Everybody is wellcome.

9/28/2008 1:18 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


"She bought them three weeks of distraction from the core issues that Democrats need to be front and center on election day."

That point of yours is the most important of all. Everyone moment spent on Palin in the media is yet one more distraction from the fact that John McCain is a republican, with republican values, trying to run as if he isn't.

It is one more moment away from the economy.

Well said.

Btw, as I have said before, the GOP are lowering expectations before debates. This was true with the first debate between Obama and McCain...although the "suspension of campaign" backfired a bit.

Look for Palin to be much better than we think, she will appear charming, "just like us", and people won't care if she is smart or not.

Unless Biden does what he should...and expose lie after lie after lie after lie. Expose her for the fraud she is. Expose the myth...tell the world that:

"The emperor has no clothes."

9/28/2008 7:19 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

As I was saying...yet one more indication that she is a total PHONY...a FRAUD:

From the latest of the AP:

9/28/2008 7:23 PM  
Anonymous Observer said...

I have been in some conversations that suggest you are more correct than most would ever consider.

In what they call "The POSSUM MANEUVER" some speculate that Palin is in fact deliberately presenting herself at a sub-standard level with the intent to then speak far more effectively in the debate, creating a "competence surprise" in the minds of viewers, the latest installment of election surrealism from the campaign on the edge.

She is pure fraud, lies, and corruption.

9/28/2008 8:12 PM  
Blogger Liza said...

Palin's confusion when she began blathering and stumbling in response to the bailout question was quite genuine. Also, her responses on foreign policy are literally the best she can do given a total lack of experience as well as interest. Her dogmatic "religious" beliefs are just that, her beliefs. She's not acting and this is not a "possum manuever." Palin is in over her head.

However, Palin will show up for the debate with Biden. Her handlers will have her to the point where she can eject the talking points as sentences and they may even have her to where she can make some associations, but in a very limited way. Any question that requires an in depth knowledge of just about anything will require her to use her best evasion skills so that she doesn't start to babble as she did with Katie Couric.


Biden is between a rock and a hard place and this is Palin's only real advantage in the upcoming debate. He has to pretend that Palin is an equal and he has to be very careful about not being condescending or setting her up for ridicule. Yet, many Democrats expect him to take her on and expose her for the incompetent and mean little fool that she is. But, she is a woman and most people expect for men to treat women with respect. So, how does he respectfully call her out for what she is? Katie Couric had the advantage of a one on one interview where Biden does not.

I predict that Palin will survive this and the GOP will spin it as best they can and get back to running down the clock.

The Wall Street meltdown and the domino effect in the global financial markets are their biggest problems right now. They want to make this election about "lipstick on pigs" and "uppity niggers" and "our guy is a war hero" and so forth.

9/29/2008 9:13 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Palin's response when asked about national security:

It's very important when you consider even national-security issues with Russia as Putin rears his head and comes into the airspace of the United States of America. Where--where do they go? It's Alaska. It's just right over the border. It is from Alaska that we send those out to make sure that an eye is being kept on this very powerful nation, Russia, because they are right there. They are right next to--to our state.

I agree with Liza. She isn't faking it. As a probability expert, you should know, x4mr, that randomness is not easy to produce intentionally. She could not make up such gibberish on the fly while thinking coherently.

9/29/2008 11:57 AM  
Anonymous Observer said...


10. Suspicious Russian tourists spotted across the Bering strait in Dezhnevo

9. Wrasslin' a bear

8. Learns Tina Fey will be watching

7. When taken on tour of White House by McCain handlers, is "inadvertently" locked in Cheney's man-sized safe

6. Schedule for memorizing state capitals thrown off by need for new schedule to memorize states

5. Speechless after finally looking up what "MILF" stands for

4. On deadline to finish her book, Namin' Your Baby the Alaskan Way

3. Needs more time to really nail those hilarious hair-plug zingers

2. No matter how hard she scrubs, she can't get Kissinger's moral stank off of her

1. Stuck in traffic on the Bridge to Nowhere

9/29/2008 12:34 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Great points all.

The thing I am betting is that Biden just takes her on...fresh and easy...makes his points, defends himself when she attacks...and then it ends in a tie or a blah affair like the first Prez debate.

A tie...or blah affair is a win for the dems...and they run out the Liza suggests.

9/29/2008 8:35 PM  

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